弓道 As the arrow flies

 

As the arrow flys…

 
I had heard people say that Kyudo is difficult. When you see learn the first 8 steps, it is doubtful you really understand the complexity of doing those first steps and sending and arrow into the target. When you first become aware of the shakuhachi and there is only 5 holes to learn, basicity 2 octaves and breathing right, one could think 8 things. Simple. You could also even compare the sound of the note, as the target and the breath the arrow…

it is doubtful you really understand the complexity of doing those first steps and sending and arrow into the target”
 
My quest to consistently get that note continues. Of course I am that stubborn kind of guy.
 
It is understood in the music world the extreme difficulty of play a shakuhachi. Some take a month(s) just to make a sound. I hear a lot of comparisons between Kyudo and Shakuhachi in my Shakuhachi sensei’s talks. He is not doing the comparisons, it is happening on my head from listening to him talk. The other day for example he was talking about technique and spirit. One can have good spirit and be a technically poor player, and the other way around. To be a “player”, master, you need both, you must have both. Once you have technique, then your spirit must excel forward, beyond the technique. Something like that. Anyway I am hearing the Kyhon ( kyudo bible) in my head. 
 
Since starting the Shakuhachi I have at times wondered which is more difficult…
 
Both can be considered a spiritual journey, beyond the flight of the air-row…
I have decided it is Kyudo that is more difficult! One can throw off an off note, as style, expression. However the flight of the arrow only tells the truth. The smallest detail un-balanced, off tone, makes a big difference the flight of the arrow. Hits… truth or not.
 
I have been picking away at my Kyudo, like a scab on a sore. With sort of the same results and sensations on the path to a bloody tender mess, when done too early. Yeah, anyway still training. I was starting feel like I was making some progress. I still had a way to go, but even I felt like I was making progress. A couple of the Sensei had even given their approval on some of my shots and I was hitting more often in pairs. Still a way to go but there was hope, in my mind. A seed…
 
Next month is a Shinsa at my dojo. All other Shinsas this year have been and will continue again after this up-coming one, at a dojo I dislike because entry and exit are done opposite. As this Shinsa is on my home turf, I started getting the lets give it a shot thoughts, hope, dreams…
 
Recently I go to the time spot when the main Sensei teaches. I had been given some changes, pointers over the last couple of days/week, even by him. So I felt reasonable good going to practice. I also needed him to check over my paperwork for the Shinsa. 
The paperwork was mostly ok, a small change was needed. He also said something about a section, that I did not understand. I said I will have my wife call him. So I practiced…
 
As expected I got corrections, a good thing always. Even more so by someone in the upper levels. Parts of the adjustments were on the same issue, the tenouchi. One of my demons. Ok, I made mental notes and practiced. I could not put in long hours that day, as I was expected elsewhere. I decided pretty much by the end of the day, the up coming shinsa was not a good idea for me now. Still more training was needed. I figured I would see how I did in the up coming Tai Kai, to make the final decision, dependant on how the arrow flew. 
 
I found out later that the section on the form, Watase Sensei was referring to was about workshops , seminars. Sensei had said I had not attended any since the states. I should have some time with them on the form. I did not even think I was suppose/needed to attend those if I was getting plenty of help in the Dojo, it was a personal choice option only. I am still not sure if I NEED/MUST attend. I will anyway at least one. I figured it would be too difficult following group instructions in Japanese. Well I will found out. In Oct that is when the next section is held.
 
Ok on to the TaiKai. It was a hot hot day. There was a typhoon on the way arriving the next day. It was humid! There were four other dojos in attendance.  
My job for this day was the photographer. I brought my serious camera along for the day. I love my long lens! I also had some great light in a spot for a while. Even though hot hot hot, I got some pretty good shots. My shooting the bow was not as good as shooting my camera…
 
Sensei was watching me like a hawk when I shot. I could feel his eyes! After the second round he comes over and tells me how way off I am on things. I had only one hit by then after 8 shots. After lunch I have one more round, I get two out of four. It was settled for me after the first round I was not ready yet for Shinsa.
 
After everything was cleaned up there was still some practice time available. I took advantage of it. Yamasta sensei was still there helping. He gave me some instruction as did my other Sensei. Then just he helped me after Watase Sensei left. Some of it was things I had heard before but part of it was new. I was told I was overdrawing A LOT!!! Ehhhhhh! This was a shock as I always hear I was not drawing big enough, so I thought. He explained more, where I should stop drawing, with my elbow not my hand, and just expand and drop shoulders and body into the Yumi. Once I understood what was being said, it made a difference in being able to relax in Kai. The Kaicho had always said I was too tight. I thought how can I draw full maximum and still stay relaxed!? Now I get it there is a point you draw to, which is not the full maxed out size of the Yumi. 
Part of the problem with my training is not being fully in control of my language skills. If I was fluent enough to understand the full details of these lessons I have been told, instead of just a small section, my progress would be a lot faster…I think so anyway. My slow progress is not so much a lack of technical skill coordination, but a lack of understanding how to use that skill, how it functions. 
Yamashita Sensei said, I think you will be ready for YonDan Shinsa soon. I said hmmm, next year I think. He said nothing else really, more of a sound, Ummm ne, kind of thing.
 
Anyway, onward, keiko keiko keiko…Winter is coming.
 
 
 
 

Two forward, one back

Steps, forward and backward

 
We at Kishiwada Kyudojo had a Rei Kai the other day. I finally got the name right. Rei Kai not Day or Dae Kai, but Rei Kai. That is an improvement. The days or a couple of days before that I thought I was making good improvements with my Kyudo shooting. My hits ratio were improving. I had figured out what was needed, so I thought. I thought I would do ok at the Rei Kai, and I sort of did. I got one hit out of four every time I went up. I have hit 4/4 before a couple of times in the past and also 2/4. However that is in the past. That was Zen this is now. These days I have been sucky.
 
After my first round of shots, my head sensei comes over and asked, basically what the hell was that with the way I was hikiwaki as did another Sensei. I thought I had it figured out…wrong! The other Sensei told me what I was doing wrong. I was way off in my thinking. So I went back to the old way on the next round and was told that was better. Then the head Sensei told me my bringing the Yumi down and back to my hip sucks. Not in those words but it meant the same. So he showed me how to do it. i had been told before I was doing it wrong, I had too much curve in the travel but no one explained how I should do it. So the last few classes I have been doing it the new way and no one has complained…so far.
 
Ok, so Tues are Tai Hai days, so far I have been getting very little correction with that. The other day, I was corrected on my Rei which was too low, and my timing on entry steps. Other wise I seem to be ok with my Resha use. I feel pretty comfortable with that, no matter where my placement is in the Tachi grouping. We get random picks on in line placement, by having our arrows selected like drawing straws, but drawing Ya.
 
The other day another of my Sempai Sensei comes over to help me. He has done so in the past and although he does not speak English I get it he recently helped with my Tenochi and I finally got it, I can feel the difference. I got another adjustment the other day. He also watched my Hikiwaki and I think I got it. I was having issues with my right elbow placement. I had figured out if I push my elbow forward in Kai, my ya would travel straight and my arm would travel across the top when unfolding and not change my ya travel angle. However this was completely wrong. I was told my elbow should be back and in line with my back and not facing down as much as I was doing, my arm on release should travel not over the top but sideways…ehhhhh, ohhhh souka. Fist distance in between my hand and shoulder. In Zanshin my right thumb should point to the rear, my left thumb should point to the front. I have been watching the Kaicho, his does not do that in Zanshin. This sensei told me it is not correct, it should. Ok So I started trying this, my hits when down at first while I was working it, but after a few shots and sighting adjustments, it started to make sense.
 
These details are a bitch, but they make the difference. I keep working on them. I am of the mind set, by the time I pass Yon-dan I will be ready for Go-dan. I have found out there is one Shinsa at my dojo this year, I will attend in Sept…maybe if I can make some solid advancement by the registration date in Aug. if not then I will wait until next year. There are other chances, however, the dojo where the shinsas are most of this year, I do not like. The setup means one has to enter on the right foot and exit on the left. I have enough to deal with without having to switchup my foot work. I have done it, I took my San Dan under those conditions, but really dislike it.
 
At the Rei Kai the other day, I had to do really stuff in the event. I was told I would do something, but I had no idea what they were talking about. Part of it was being a score keeper. That was easy now that I have done it already at the last Tai Hai. It is just flicking switches. The other thing was taking the Ya from whoever turned it during the final shoot off, showing it to the judges and then to the shooters who were lined up waiting. I was walked through it by another of the Sensei, so was not so bad. The actual function was not so bad to remember but the word to use to the judges I do not remember. I think it was something to do with being the second group. Anyway, if I have to do it again I am sure I will get help.
 
So yeah, slowly I am making headway a couple of steps forward, and step back. Usually when I start thinking I got it, I don’t, but that is ok. A Zen master said once mistakes are opportunities to learn. 
 
So onward, little by little. Like the turtle, not how fast to reach the finish but reaching it is the goal. We were told in my old Chan class about turtle breathing. Slow and steady, this helps give them long life. A dog breathes fast and has a short life, turtle breath slow and have long life. So I think of my Kyudo training as turtle breathing, slow, and deep.
.

Kyudo…The Saga contiues

Yeah, not much writing on Kyudo these days, however, it has not stopped. Day before yesterday I went to practice. I did fairly well, a couple of days before that I did better. So I was thinking, ok finally I am making some improvement, small but headway is headway. Like having. Dollar is better than having a dime. I was it getting cocky, but still feeling better at least I was taking a step forward. This was Sat. Sunday There was. Tai Kai. I was thinking ok, well I should do better, not get but better than I have been in a while.
 
Sunday’s Tai Kai, I had a been given a real task to do. Usually I just take photos. I am comfortable with that. I understand that it is my thing. This time I was assigned the job of being a score keeper. Well a switch flipper, score keeper. I watched, when the shooter hit the target, I would flip a switch and on the light board it would show. I was nervous. Did I understand the directions right. It seemed simple but, what if I made a mistake, what if I could not see clearly when it hit on the side. Another woman and I were to work together. Her first time also, she was also nervous, so I did not feel so bad, but at least she understood Japanese. Mine was iffy. I looked at the switch board the day of the Tai Kai it did not seem to complex. Just flip the switch, X or O, simple at least that part. Did I have it right , O is a hit, X is a miss? Seems like X should be a hit, O a miss, I was thinking too much! Just do it.
 
Another thing on my head was getting there on time. I missed the last Tai Kai, and another time before that, hmmm last year, I was late! This time I was there early, and already dressed. I did at home and worn my Gi on the train. A couple of the lead Senseis, one of which was the Kaicho, said, ohhhh ! You are here early!! Desho ( yup, that’s right! ) I said and we laughed. We all gathered outside before the dojo building opened.
I took a few pictures. I took a shot of on of the Sensei with his school group. He was giving them directions and whatever else. He saw me taking a picture and said Ohayo! All the kids turned looked at me, bowed and said Ohayo! Wow! I was not expecting that. Kind of shocking!
The building opened and everyone entered. I grabbed a spot for my stuff and went to look at my assignment area. My partner also showed up shortly afterward. I had talked with her outside also. Ok, we got some final directions and things were simplified a bit. She had one section I had another. A third person on the other side had another. whew, I was thrown off for a bit thinking we had three sections.
 
The event started, the usual opening stuff, then it was on. At first it was scary, but after a few it was ok, not really a big deal. There were also I found out backups, checking what we posted and another also doing it on paper. So the three should all match. Ok, i felt better and better. Then I found out that I did not have to sit there the whole time until it was my turn to shoot. There were also high schoolers, taking shifts with us. So I really only had to sit there maybe for three or four lines of three shooters, with four arrows each. After that I could hangout or whatever. I used the time to take pictures. I did not bring my Nikon since I thought I would be too busy score keeping. I only had my phone cam, which did not do so well with the sun light coming in at a bad angle. Oh well, I rolled with it.
 
I had one guy come introduce himself to me. I did not really figured out what was going on until afterward. He had said something about a boat, and sailing, and nice to meet me. Afterward, it came to me that he was the one that I had heard about from the boatmaster where I work, had a boat there to get a bottom job. He had seen me then and wondered if I was the gaijin doing Kyudo. So yeah, afterward I got what it was all about.
 
The Tai Kai went smooth. It was not as big as some of the others there at my Dojo, but that was ok. There were 87 competitors. I was #84. I have no idea how they come up that. No matter. I got three round of shooting, four arrows. I got two hits! Sad, but oh well, no matter. More training is needed, but I already knew that. I got to see a couple of classmates I had not seen in a while. One of which has been testing with me for Yon-dan. He was still San-dan also. Another woman who was trying for san-dan was still Ni-dan. Ok, so to is not just me! I felt better, I was not left far behind with my choice not to test for a while.
 
So anyway, the inter action with my classmates is very comfortable these days after almost 4 years. I am really one of the group in many ways now and share some laughs and small chats with some. They tend to look out for me, on things I am not sure of or missing, they have my back as part of the “wa”.

World Naked gardening day

NNGD…

 
It is said that working in dirt, feeling it, helps cure depression. I can see how that would happen. There is a certain feeling that comes from working with clay, doing ceramics, bring something to life from dirt. Gardening is bring something to life from dirt. I call it the God complex, they have I am sure other names. Anywho, yeah, doing gardening is therapeutic, very Zen active mediation kind of thing, Kyudo, Tai Chi, shakuhachi, kind of Meditation. Other faces of Chan. I heard one of my Chan Shifu recently say that, along with every day life is Chan, Chan is everyday life.
 
So my Chan gardening meditation project, spring session has started. I thought it would be a one day project but it has turned into three. It is a good golden week project. I will be working with reduced hours for a while, so on another level it is good to be planting food. Helps to eat fresh, save money, eat healthy. I do not have enough space to really be serious about growing. However herbs, tomatoes, bell peppers, eggplant, teas, can be grown easy and enough to be worth the effort as harvested.
 
It took me travels to three places for soil, food, misc. It was a large undertaking.
I am putting more effort into the garden this year. Last year was weak, very weak. The first year was better. This year I am adding more organic fertilizer, but of a different type. We’ll see if that makes a difference. I am also setting up a computer sheet, showing what was planted where, and what date. I will not rely on guessing what was growing. I tried labels, but they come off, get wet, something. This is a better idea…so far.
This time I have a chart with pictures as well. This way I can recall the seed. Don’t know if I can find these again, i got them from a place in northern Ca called the seed bank. It is an old bank changed to a retail seed store. I have my oldest in contact still friend living in the same town, so there is a chance of a repurchase. God be willing and the creek don’t rise.
 
I finished up the planting yesterday. It was a three day task. The downer of two of those day was my trip to the dentist. First time in many years. I need work. 😦 Three shots on day one! My mouth was a wreak trying to take a Shakuhachi class afterward. I also ended up chew my cheek flesh a bit, when eating and not being able to feel. It made the evening not too pleasant.
 
On the third day a cold struck ! Maybe from the dentist…the chill change in the weather, stress from being in the chair, holding on for dear life. Actually, I started thinking about Kyudo, if I can remain relaxed while this guy is digging in my mouth, I can easy stay relaxed when at Shinsa. Although, being relaxed at shinsa is not my issue, hitting is….I digress
 
So yeah the third day. I heard that May 2nd is World Naked Gardening day. I thought, wow, perfect timing. As I am finishing up today. So I joined in the celebration. I took a couple of photos, because you know the saying, if there is no pictures, it never happened.
 
So the first picture, I could not find my tripod, so I took it while holding the camera.
 
 
I was called away afterward so I could not get back to working until after the dentist, and my shakuhachi class via skype from Chicago. That is kind of different iznnit! Lesson from Chicago on a Japanese instrument, while I am in Japan. I am learning one certain song that is why. I need this in order to get the Komuso experience …coming soon. Oops , digression, the picture, yeah, so I got back out to finish up, I found my trip so I was able to get a full shot, it was a little dark though. Oh, well…
 

I am looking for a good harvest this year. I have some ideas in place that I have been thinking on from the last couple of plantings. The practice is evolving.
_/|\_

Pilgramage – Kamakura

Engaku-ji

 

 
I had been looking forward to this for a while . Even though my original hope was to be able to shoot there were dashed. It still had the making of an interesting trip. The agenda was, watch Kyudo, visit the temple, go to another temple to see the Great Buddha.
 
We catch a late bus out of Osaka. It was some 9-10 hrs ride. The bus trip was smooth, another still I /we were unable to sleep much. Me less than LZ , much less. The seats were uncomfortable, space was cramped. I watch a movie on my Ipad, “Logan”, Xcellent flick. Then tried to sleep.
 
Finally we arrived in Yokohama and had to wait for something or another, plus grab some breakfast. Finally we got the train we wanted, and off we went. Dropped off our bags in a coin locker and went to the fist temple. Engakuji a old Zen temple, were the Kyudojo was. We had no idea if the dojo was going to be open or when. I was prepared for that. Even if it was closed I could still look at some of the facility somewhat. When we arrived at the gate, which was a surprise to be right almost next to the train stop, they were just opening. We enquired about the dojo. We were pointed to it and told , if the path was unblocked we could go into the grounds. 
 
We made our way over to the area which was just a few steps from the entrance. Luck was with us and the path was un-blocked. There was a grounds person just starting to open it. We asked. Few question and were told the would be practice at 10:00a.m. Currently it was 9:30 or so. We said our thanks and our we’ll be back words. We headed out into the main temple grounds.
 
The grounds were huge, clean. It was a perfect time to visit. The temps were comfortable, it was not crowded, and there were some Sakuras in bloom. They were not in full glory yet but enough to give the sight a nice charm. We walked around checking out misc.buildings. For me interesting. LZ is usually not so into the old temple stuff but she seemed to find these grounds interesting. It was nice pleasant not having the crowds. As we were leaving more people started to show up. It was now 10:00 a.m. So we headed back to the Kyudojo.
 
As we arrived the shooter were just getting warmed up. A few of the older guys were doing some stretching. Another couple or so were getting their equipment together. I watched from outside as we were supposed to do. Aa couple of guys started on the makiwara. I noticed behind them were one or two people doing meditation or praying.
I think meditation, this is a Zen based Kydojo. I walked back and forth to view what I could. Finally I could take no more and asked one the shooters. “Are there different ranks here now? What is the average? Something close to that. I was told there are no ranks, they only do it for personal development. Then I remembered they are not part of the Federation. I was told we could have a seat off in the side yard. We were was ok, to move the barrier and go in the other area. We enter and Got a better view of the shooting area of the dojo.
 
More people started to arrive. Some noticed we were inside the yard and also moved the barrier and came it. I watched for a while, took more pictures from this angle and then we left. I found out later that some of my dojomates, upper ranks had no idea there was a Kyudojo in Kamakura. I was kind of surprised, but since they are not part of the Renmei they go unnoticed by the group.
 
The Great Buddha
 
Our next stop was the Great Buddha. It was only a short trip to the Temple of the Great Buddha. It was now around 11:00 am, the crowds where out. The “fun” quality of the trip diminished with the size of the crowd. Side stepping, dodging, we made our way to the Buddha. My only reason was just for historic value. It was big, I got a few good shots and picked up a few small omeyage. Then we headed back. A few stops were made at a couple of local shops. We had planned on visiting one other temple but changed or minds. Instead opted to go right to lunch. The Thai place LZ had picked was closed. However there was another within walking distance. It was run by real Thais, it was right across from the beach. I was surprised there was such a nice beach there. LZ said it is a famous beach , used as a back drop for many many Movies, TV, etc . The food was ok, so far I have yet to find any Thai as good as the place I was a regular at in Ca.
 
The next stop was our hotel. There we rested and had a great dinner. The room was small but comfortable. I say small because it was picked as a placed for LZ to do a report on. So we could basically write off our trip for the most part. There was a private jacuzzi time. The Jacuzzi over looked the water, it was only so so, to me because the weather was still chilly, so not really enjoyable. However the dinner as I said was good.
 
Yokosuka
 
The next day we visited, long term friends of ours from NorCal. Another mixed couple like us. The husband currently works for the Naval base there at Yokosuka. He took us to a spot that over looked the placed where Admiral Perry first came and threaten the Japanese.
Trade or die! We next went to the Military base and technically went back on American soil, by foot! We had a bit of an issue getting on base, we needed passes, and LZ did not bring a photo ID. It took a while but we were able to get a pass for the day. On base we got a tour, and did some shopping, of food stuff not easy to get in Japan. A gold mine score.
Next to their house for wine and cheese, chatting and laughs. I was given an interview for the website and facebook site, “Black Toyko” .
 
After all that we hustled off to the train/bus for the long trip home. Overall to was fun. It was good to hang out with our friends and kick it like we did in Cal.
It was a long trip but worthwhile in my mind. Even though could not shoot at the Kyudojo, it was still worthwhile to visit the temple and grounds. It was nicer we thought than Kyoto. The Great Buddha was “Meh” but ok to see once. I picked up a small gold plated Buddha statue for my home shrine.
more photos here –> X

God willing and the Creek don’t rise

God willing and the creek don’t rise.

 
There was a Tai Kai for a couple of Sundays ago. I was set to go, at least in my head. I was not shooting that well but, I was viewing it as practice, so it matter. Everything is practice, maybe even life, who knows for sure. However that is another story…
The night before for some reason. I did not sleep well. Maybe nerves from not being really ready to shoot badly in public. Yeah, my hit ratio still sucks, oh well. Anyway I was up early to get going. I did my morning drills, Chan-ding ( zazen), Tai Chi and then set off. I was even wearing my dogi, so as not to waste time changing and dealing with looking for a spot to stand in the crowded dressing room at Kishiwada. 
 
I hope on the train making the effort to catch one that I did not have to rush to make. I am riding along I switch to an express to the main station instead of the local one where I usually get off. The next main one is also a regular stop when I am wanting to walk less. I figure I would save some time and be there in plenty of time. I am hearing things on the speaker about the next stop, which sounds like is not my stop but the next next big station. I am thinking, hmmm I must not be hearing right, because the train always stops at Haruki. Surprised I am when it goes pass my stop! Ehhhhhh? Hmmm. Ok, I think no panic Good thing I am early. At the next stop I get off and change to a local going the opposite direction. 
 
I make it to my stop with plenty of time to burn, sort of. I stop in the convenience store for a drink and walk over to the dojo. I was not early enough to see the folks lined up outside waiting to get in. The building was already open. Once upstairs, I get another shock! The dojo is empty! No one, no bows, zip! Ehhhh? My mind races, I check the board, hmmmm, ok, I see the two Tai Kai I signed up for are not today! Hmmmm, however my calendar says there is a Tai Kai today! It took me a while then figured out, I was on the right day, the right time, but the wrong place!! Doh! 
 
Oh well, i figured, I guess I will just practice alone. Nothing I can do about it now. Anyway, I guess I was not expected anyway, after some memory checks, i did not recall signing up for the Osakajo Tai Kai anyway. Oh well. I setup thing to practice. Just before I was ready to shoot another dojo mates enters. She tells me yes, there is a Tai Kai at The Osaka Castle Dojo. Sigh.

I have at my practice. Shortly later another mate shows up, so now there is three of us. I am at it, checking my this n that and not hitting anything! This was the theme for the day. Zip for hits, close and around the mato, but not one hit out of sixteen. After a couple of disgusting hours, I called it a day. A sempai says to me I need to open my chest more. I make a note of it, but still head out, I am done. I mark down my perfect Zero score and head home.
 
Oh well, there is next time, if God be willing and the creek don’t rise, I will be back.

Completion …Art tools as Art within Art


The forces are balanced, the water boils properly; but if the pot is too full and boils over, it puts out the fire. On the other hand, if the fire is too hot for too long, it can evaporate all the water. In maintaining the equilibrium that follows the completion of an arduous task, forces at work in the situation must be monitored carefully to ensure that a proper balance is maintained. The state of After Completion is a time for fine-tuning, for refinements and embellishments of what has been accomplished

…I-Ching #63



Things are coming together. Yoshiko the Bass, is doing well. All cleaned up she is great.  The day after she came back from the shop the parts I ordered came in . Gold plated tuning pegs and volume/tone adjust knobs. It adds some nice bling, but understated. It goes goes with the dark wood. Now I feel like it is “MY AXE”, my Bass!



Another, I have been waiting for item arrived yesterday, my Ya from the shop. Earlier than I expected, that is always nice. NOW they are perfect as I had in my mind. I wanted for a long to time get these ya, then when I got them , last year, they did not get part of the work correct. So every time I used them I was reminded, this is unfinished, this is not how/what I wanted, I am still waiting. I used a pair tonight at practice, and yeah it is pretty superficial to trip on a small thing like a color scheme, or a pattern. Yet each fleeting glimpse of beauty observed, yet un-named is a bit of Zen, and in itself a practice. Observe, Absorb, Release. See the flower, breath the scent, move on. Also, there is no mistaking mine at a large event in a barrel.

I had been giving some thought to my fixation with the bass and the ya. Besides being tools of my passions, I think a combination of things, I am self analyzing. It has been over three years since we lost almost everything with the Boat, the bankruptcy the year before that, the lost of the condo, job, etc, in the years just before that. People giving us stuff to start over since arriving. It has been a while since I have had something of mine, as I want it, even then it has been a bit of a hustle involved. We still have basically very little and own almost nothing. For real nothing expensive. It is ok, we have what we need and a little extra and health, life is good. I will most likely not have a Car, motorcycle, boat, condo, or well-paying job again. Not to put a jinx on myself, but reality is the mind of Zen. Under my present conditions, without some major changes anyway, yeah, so whatever treats I am blessed with these days is a big deal. Life owes us nothing and is not fair. All we can do is take another step and be thankful for the foot to do so.

 
I was inspired by the newness of my tools, to take some pictures. Another plus for the new tools is artist inspiration joy is where you find/make it. 
 
Tools of Art, as Art, art within Art…

Waiting

The wait zone…

 
I am deep into to that right now. Ever think about how much time we spend waiting on stuff, things, people. It is neither god or bad, it is just what it is, nothing. Like the taste of tofu, we add flavor. On its own, it is pretty bland, like what this post will be. Unlike the last post which for some reason got a large amounts of hits. Perhaps from the Tumbler readers, I have a lot from there, WordPress , not so much. Why? Well in the scope of life it does not matter, like this post…more so, since this is a free trip…for everyone.
I digress
 
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Waiting…I am deep in the waiting zone. As one who meditates daily, does Tai Chi, drinks green tea, hmm ok not so much the green tea part, but slowly down, calming the mind and spirit is part of my everyday training. I live there, it is not someplace I go to for a break. So one would think I would be more at peace with waiting, it is after all like doing sitting Zen. Being still, yet actively waiting…
 
I am in the waiting zone. There are things I notice as I apply Chan mind to behaviors. Sameness like doing zazen and being in the wait zone. The items are small, trivial, they will only be a scratch to an itch, yet desired. I know this and am not attached to item or out-come, still there is desire. Which makes me think about the Four Truth in Buddhism, suffering. More in this care the awareness of the act or case of a possible suffering. Is that a form of enlightenment? The awareness of self foolishness, illusion, attachment. It is not using un-attached mind because I am thinking and registering that I am doing it, and not just doing it. So not in the non-abiding mind state.
 
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My bass has been in the Shop for 10 days, I was told 10 days, then LZ says “about” 10 days he said…waiting…my ya have been sent to the Ya shop’s shop, for 30 days…waiting, my Abbot is going to find out what is the hangup with my Priesthood certificate and get it sent to me…waiting,..new Shakuhachi in the spring…waiting
 
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Life is waiting, we wait to be born, then we wait to die…Zazen should be easier.
 
 

On such a winter’s day


This n that….on such a winter’s day.

 
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I have been looking forward to going to Kamakura. A visit to the Engakuji, not just to see the old Zen temple ground but to see the Kyudojo. Dream perhaps dare to dream of a chance to shot there. We have friends from the states that moved nearby, so besides visiting the Great Buddha we were going to hang out a bit with them.
 
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LZ has made the arrangements we are set for April! It will just be a short stay , but even with the disappointment of the Kyudojo at Engakuji, the trip will, be interesting a short pilgrim for me to the Zen Temple. 
Oh, what’s that I did not tell you about the disappointment of the Kyudojo ? Well, I had Lz do some research and ask a few questions about the Dojo. It turns out it is there and anyone can view it from the outside. The club itself has changes as the an old priest who ran it passed away. The new priest does not do Kyudo. The space it rented out to a private club, not taking new members. Sounds like the shrine I tried to join when I first arrived in this area. They, the temple staff, say they do not know how to get in touch with the club. Of course that is BS , but I get it. Oh well. Another life item to be viewed with non-abiding awareness. The Great Buddha I just want to see for the photo op and say I been there, kind of thing.
 
So yeah , it will be fun seeing our friends. It has been awhile.
 
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Shakuhachi,
Recital next week, I know the piece but not by heart. I still have a week to focus. I have also been working on a another piece called Cho Shi. I am learning this to play with my acquaintance the Komoso in Nara. He has been kind enough to offer me the extra gear, hat, sandals, etc, I need to be a kumoso for a day. I was able to score a plain black kimono. I need to learn the piece now. I am slowly getting it. I will be able to focus more after the recital. Also not having a Yon-dan shinsha staring at me will help. This will come I think shortly after the Kamakura trip…or before. Which will be in April.
I was pleased to find out Golden week is in May, so I may make it to the Kyoto Tai Kai this year.
 
Waterworld
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The weather has really sucked down at the marina as of late. That is hail in the picture above this.
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However it is good to have the couple of days work. More so since the City Park work has dried up for the season. Working inside the boat on some bad weather days , really reminds me of my own boat owning past. The rain on the cabin, the sway of the boat, the comfort of a heat small space. Watching the boats through rain streaked glass, in the marina dance with the waves. I wonder some time will I ever own again. I have noticed a pattern with things I have “owned”. They all go away. My clock is running out, as has my build-able income. Yet, one must stay open to gifts from the Universe, because one never know what the tides will bring.
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Kung Fu dharma world is once again quiet. Not surprising, disappointing but not surprising. This is a different world here, and I am in a way different area. Anyway it is ok, I still keep my feelers out, but return to having my practice for me, improving me. It seems selfish when I say it like that but, that is reality. Use this knowledge and training to keep me healthy and supported in my other practices…
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Music, Chan/Kung Fu study, Kyudo, these are part of what I wanted for my retirement years. So I am mostly there and I am indeed feeling blessed to be able to do this. More so with the oncoming darkness of the Trump years ahead. I am missing the sailing part, but I also have that sort of since I can borrow a boat from Aoki Corp if I want a day sail. So mostly just missing doing ceramics. I ant at some point get back into doing some clay-work, however Kyudo is my big challenge right now. Even though Shakuhachi, is also and will most likely give me more payback as far as actual use. Kyudo remains my big challenge. So mostly things are as I hoped for in Japan, it is rare anything turns out just as one plans, but in life like sailing , one can not control the wind, but one can adjust your sails.
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Anyway with approach of winter all one can do is hold on to their inner light as long as they can have faith in whatever one believes in, even if is just duct tape. Then see what the universe has in mind for you.
 
…for now, it’s winter
 
 

Do without doing


Do without doing…

 
The difference is noticeable, to me. Deeper seeking internally than externally, while keeping the external alive. I am speaking on shooting with the shinsa over my head, and the change since not choosing the shinsha this time. The sense of urgency is gone. I can just shoot with more internal conscience . Like going from Mato to Makiwara shooting.
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My latest tips from Yamashita sensei, have been worked into my programing. A big one I think is, I was holding my right arm too high. Lower then stretch the triceps from the elbows. Two directions, yin yang.
 
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Another sensei, had me readjust my tenouchi. I have some callous now on my hands from doing the park work for the city. On my left palm it is where the Yumi rests. It was becoming very painful the other day while I was shooting. My grip was way wrong! Once the Sensei showed me the right way, hand stopped hurting. This lesson will stick because of the pain. Funny how we learn that way. Pain can be looked at as a good thing, it is our friend…at times. Perspective is a big deal.
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Non-abiding awareness. This has been a word one of my Chan teachers uses a lot. It is how we should deal with things, life, tasks. Attention to detail, breath, victories, failures. When shooting, be the details, the moment, have no concern for the outcome, non-abiding awareness ( detachment) to the joy of success, hitting or pain of lost. Do what you do, without being attached to it, or the outcome. “Do without Doing.”
Sort of like “mushin”. I have been relating non-abiding awareness, more to Kyudo these days. I also notice my “Kyudo” things popping into regular Life. Walking straighter, is a big one, use of the eyes is another. Plus Cross stuff from Tai Chi to Kyudo, Kyudo to Tai Chi. I think that means I am understanding it more.
Understanding better the cycle of support, the interdependence of my arts; sitting chan, Kung Fu, Kyudo, Shakuhachi, Yoga…living and life…
…or,
I have grown more delusional …