弓道 As the arrow flies

 

As the arrow flys…

 
I had heard people say that Kyudo is difficult. When you see learn the first 8 steps, it is doubtful you really understand the complexity of doing those first steps and sending and arrow into the target. When you first become aware of the shakuhachi and there is only 5 holes to learn, basicity 2 octaves and breathing right, one could think 8 things. Simple. You could also even compare the sound of the note, as the target and the breath the arrow…

it is doubtful you really understand the complexity of doing those first steps and sending and arrow into the target”
 
My quest to consistently get that note continues. Of course I am that stubborn kind of guy.
 
It is understood in the music world the extreme difficulty of play a shakuhachi. Some take a month(s) just to make a sound. I hear a lot of comparisons between Kyudo and Shakuhachi in my Shakuhachi sensei’s talks. He is not doing the comparisons, it is happening on my head from listening to him talk. The other day for example he was talking about technique and spirit. One can have good spirit and be a technically poor player, and the other way around. To be a “player”, master, you need both, you must have both. Once you have technique, then your spirit must excel forward, beyond the technique. Something like that. Anyway I am hearing the Kyhon ( kyudo bible) in my head. 
 
Since starting the Shakuhachi I have at times wondered which is more difficult…
 
Both can be considered a spiritual journey, beyond the flight of the air-row…
I have decided it is Kyudo that is more difficult! One can throw off an off note, as style, expression. However the flight of the arrow only tells the truth. The smallest detail un-balanced, off tone, makes a big difference the flight of the arrow. Hits… truth or not.
 
I have been picking away at my Kyudo, like a scab on a sore. With sort of the same results and sensations on the path to a bloody tender mess, when done too early. Yeah, anyway still training. I was starting feel like I was making some progress. I still had a way to go, but even I felt like I was making progress. A couple of the Sensei had even given their approval on some of my shots and I was hitting more often in pairs. Still a way to go but there was hope, in my mind. A seed…
 
Next month is a Shinsa at my dojo. All other Shinsas this year have been and will continue again after this up-coming one, at a dojo I dislike because entry and exit are done opposite. As this Shinsa is on my home turf, I started getting the lets give it a shot thoughts, hope, dreams…
 
Recently I go to the time spot when the main Sensei teaches. I had been given some changes, pointers over the last couple of days/week, even by him. So I felt reasonable good going to practice. I also needed him to check over my paperwork for the Shinsa. 
The paperwork was mostly ok, a small change was needed. He also said something about a section, that I did not understand. I said I will have my wife call him. So I practiced…
 
As expected I got corrections, a good thing always. Even more so by someone in the upper levels. Parts of the adjustments were on the same issue, the tenouchi. One of my demons. Ok, I made mental notes and practiced. I could not put in long hours that day, as I was expected elsewhere. I decided pretty much by the end of the day, the up coming shinsa was not a good idea for me now. Still more training was needed. I figured I would see how I did in the up coming Tai Kai, to make the final decision, dependant on how the arrow flew. 
 
I found out later that the section on the form, Watase Sensei was referring to was about workshops , seminars. Sensei had said I had not attended any since the states. I should have some time with them on the form. I did not even think I was suppose/needed to attend those if I was getting plenty of help in the Dojo, it was a personal choice option only. I am still not sure if I NEED/MUST attend. I will anyway at least one. I figured it would be too difficult following group instructions in Japanese. Well I will found out. In Oct that is when the next section is held.
 
Ok on to the TaiKai. It was a hot hot day. There was a typhoon on the way arriving the next day. It was humid! There were four other dojos in attendance.  
My job for this day was the photographer. I brought my serious camera along for the day. I love my long lens! I also had some great light in a spot for a while. Even though hot hot hot, I got some pretty good shots. My shooting the bow was not as good as shooting my camera…
 
Sensei was watching me like a hawk when I shot. I could feel his eyes! After the second round he comes over and tells me how way off I am on things. I had only one hit by then after 8 shots. After lunch I have one more round, I get two out of four. It was settled for me after the first round I was not ready yet for Shinsa.
 
After everything was cleaned up there was still some practice time available. I took advantage of it. Yamasta sensei was still there helping. He gave me some instruction as did my other Sensei. Then just he helped me after Watase Sensei left. Some of it was things I had heard before but part of it was new. I was told I was overdrawing A LOT!!! Ehhhhhh! This was a shock as I always hear I was not drawing big enough, so I thought. He explained more, where I should stop drawing, with my elbow not my hand, and just expand and drop shoulders and body into the Yumi. Once I understood what was being said, it made a difference in being able to relax in Kai. The Kaicho had always said I was too tight. I thought how can I draw full maximum and still stay relaxed!? Now I get it there is a point you draw to, which is not the full maxed out size of the Yumi. 
Part of the problem with my training is not being fully in control of my language skills. If I was fluent enough to understand the full details of these lessons I have been told, instead of just a small section, my progress would be a lot faster…I think so anyway. My slow progress is not so much a lack of technical skill coordination, but a lack of understanding how to use that skill, how it functions. 
Yamashita Sensei said, I think you will be ready for YonDan Shinsa soon. I said hmmm, next year I think. He said nothing else really, more of a sound, Ummm ne, kind of thing.
 
Anyway, onward, keiko keiko keiko…Winter is coming.
 
 
 
 

Two forward, one back

Steps, forward and backward

 
We at Kishiwada Kyudojo had a Rei Kai the other day. I finally got the name right. Rei Kai not Day or Dae Kai, but Rei Kai. That is an improvement. The days or a couple of days before that I thought I was making good improvements with my Kyudo shooting. My hits ratio were improving. I had figured out what was needed, so I thought. I thought I would do ok at the Rei Kai, and I sort of did. I got one hit out of four every time I went up. I have hit 4/4 before a couple of times in the past and also 2/4. However that is in the past. That was Zen this is now. These days I have been sucky.
 
After my first round of shots, my head sensei comes over and asked, basically what the hell was that with the way I was hikiwaki as did another Sensei. I thought I had it figured out…wrong! The other Sensei told me what I was doing wrong. I was way off in my thinking. So I went back to the old way on the next round and was told that was better. Then the head Sensei told me my bringing the Yumi down and back to my hip sucks. Not in those words but it meant the same. So he showed me how to do it. i had been told before I was doing it wrong, I had too much curve in the travel but no one explained how I should do it. So the last few classes I have been doing it the new way and no one has complained…so far.
 
Ok, so Tues are Tai Hai days, so far I have been getting very little correction with that. The other day, I was corrected on my Rei which was too low, and my timing on entry steps. Other wise I seem to be ok with my Resha use. I feel pretty comfortable with that, no matter where my placement is in the Tachi grouping. We get random picks on in line placement, by having our arrows selected like drawing straws, but drawing Ya.
 
The other day another of my Sempai Sensei comes over to help me. He has done so in the past and although he does not speak English I get it he recently helped with my Tenochi and I finally got it, I can feel the difference. I got another adjustment the other day. He also watched my Hikiwaki and I think I got it. I was having issues with my right elbow placement. I had figured out if I push my elbow forward in Kai, my ya would travel straight and my arm would travel across the top when unfolding and not change my ya travel angle. However this was completely wrong. I was told my elbow should be back and in line with my back and not facing down as much as I was doing, my arm on release should travel not over the top but sideways…ehhhhh, ohhhh souka. Fist distance in between my hand and shoulder. In Zanshin my right thumb should point to the rear, my left thumb should point to the front. I have been watching the Kaicho, his does not do that in Zanshin. This sensei told me it is not correct, it should. Ok So I started trying this, my hits when down at first while I was working it, but after a few shots and sighting adjustments, it started to make sense.
 
These details are a bitch, but they make the difference. I keep working on them. I am of the mind set, by the time I pass Yon-dan I will be ready for Go-dan. I have found out there is one Shinsa at my dojo this year, I will attend in Sept…maybe if I can make some solid advancement by the registration date in Aug. if not then I will wait until next year. There are other chances, however, the dojo where the shinsas are most of this year, I do not like. The setup means one has to enter on the right foot and exit on the left. I have enough to deal with without having to switchup my foot work. I have done it, I took my San Dan under those conditions, but really dislike it.
 
At the Rei Kai the other day, I had to do really stuff in the event. I was told I would do something, but I had no idea what they were talking about. Part of it was being a score keeper. That was easy now that I have done it already at the last Tai Hai. It is just flicking switches. The other thing was taking the Ya from whoever turned it during the final shoot off, showing it to the judges and then to the shooters who were lined up waiting. I was walked through it by another of the Sensei, so was not so bad. The actual function was not so bad to remember but the word to use to the judges I do not remember. I think it was something to do with being the second group. Anyway, if I have to do it again I am sure I will get help.
 
So yeah, slowly I am making headway a couple of steps forward, and step back. Usually when I start thinking I got it, I don’t, but that is ok. A Zen master said once mistakes are opportunities to learn. 
 
So onward, little by little. Like the turtle, not how fast to reach the finish but reaching it is the goal. We were told in my old Chan class about turtle breathing. Slow and steady, this helps give them long life. A dog breathes fast and has a short life, turtle breath slow and have long life. So I think of my Kyudo training as turtle breathing, slow, and deep.
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Kyudo…The Saga contiues

Yeah, not much writing on Kyudo these days, however, it has not stopped. Day before yesterday I went to practice. I did fairly well, a couple of days before that I did better. So I was thinking, ok finally I am making some improvement, small but headway is headway. Like having. Dollar is better than having a dime. I was it getting cocky, but still feeling better at least I was taking a step forward. This was Sat. Sunday There was. Tai Kai. I was thinking ok, well I should do better, not get but better than I have been in a while.
 
Sunday’s Tai Kai, I had a been given a real task to do. Usually I just take photos. I am comfortable with that. I understand that it is my thing. This time I was assigned the job of being a score keeper. Well a switch flipper, score keeper. I watched, when the shooter hit the target, I would flip a switch and on the light board it would show. I was nervous. Did I understand the directions right. It seemed simple but, what if I made a mistake, what if I could not see clearly when it hit on the side. Another woman and I were to work together. Her first time also, she was also nervous, so I did not feel so bad, but at least she understood Japanese. Mine was iffy. I looked at the switch board the day of the Tai Kai it did not seem to complex. Just flip the switch, X or O, simple at least that part. Did I have it right , O is a hit, X is a miss? Seems like X should be a hit, O a miss, I was thinking too much! Just do it.
 
Another thing on my head was getting there on time. I missed the last Tai Kai, and another time before that, hmmm last year, I was late! This time I was there early, and already dressed. I did at home and worn my Gi on the train. A couple of the lead Senseis, one of which was the Kaicho, said, ohhhh ! You are here early!! Desho ( yup, that’s right! ) I said and we laughed. We all gathered outside before the dojo building opened.
I took a few pictures. I took a shot of on of the Sensei with his school group. He was giving them directions and whatever else. He saw me taking a picture and said Ohayo! All the kids turned looked at me, bowed and said Ohayo! Wow! I was not expecting that. Kind of shocking!
The building opened and everyone entered. I grabbed a spot for my stuff and went to look at my assignment area. My partner also showed up shortly afterward. I had talked with her outside also. Ok, we got some final directions and things were simplified a bit. She had one section I had another. A third person on the other side had another. whew, I was thrown off for a bit thinking we had three sections.
 
The event started, the usual opening stuff, then it was on. At first it was scary, but after a few it was ok, not really a big deal. There were also I found out backups, checking what we posted and another also doing it on paper. So the three should all match. Ok, i felt better and better. Then I found out that I did not have to sit there the whole time until it was my turn to shoot. There were also high schoolers, taking shifts with us. So I really only had to sit there maybe for three or four lines of three shooters, with four arrows each. After that I could hangout or whatever. I used the time to take pictures. I did not bring my Nikon since I thought I would be too busy score keeping. I only had my phone cam, which did not do so well with the sun light coming in at a bad angle. Oh well, I rolled with it.
 
I had one guy come introduce himself to me. I did not really figured out what was going on until afterward. He had said something about a boat, and sailing, and nice to meet me. Afterward, it came to me that he was the one that I had heard about from the boatmaster where I work, had a boat there to get a bottom job. He had seen me then and wondered if I was the gaijin doing Kyudo. So yeah, afterward I got what it was all about.
 
The Tai Kai went smooth. It was not as big as some of the others there at my Dojo, but that was ok. There were 87 competitors. I was #84. I have no idea how they come up that. No matter. I got three round of shooting, four arrows. I got two hits! Sad, but oh well, no matter. More training is needed, but I already knew that. I got to see a couple of classmates I had not seen in a while. One of which has been testing with me for Yon-dan. He was still San-dan also. Another woman who was trying for san-dan was still Ni-dan. Ok, so to is not just me! I felt better, I was not left far behind with my choice not to test for a while.
 
So anyway, the inter action with my classmates is very comfortable these days after almost 4 years. I am really one of the group in many ways now and share some laughs and small chats with some. They tend to look out for me, on things I am not sure of or missing, they have my back as part of the “wa”.

God willing and the Creek don’t rise

God willing and the creek don’t rise.

 
There was a Tai Kai for a couple of Sundays ago. I was set to go, at least in my head. I was not shooting that well but, I was viewing it as practice, so it matter. Everything is practice, maybe even life, who knows for sure. However that is another story…
The night before for some reason. I did not sleep well. Maybe nerves from not being really ready to shoot badly in public. Yeah, my hit ratio still sucks, oh well. Anyway I was up early to get going. I did my morning drills, Chan-ding ( zazen), Tai Chi and then set off. I was even wearing my dogi, so as not to waste time changing and dealing with looking for a spot to stand in the crowded dressing room at Kishiwada. 
 
I hope on the train making the effort to catch one that I did not have to rush to make. I am riding along I switch to an express to the main station instead of the local one where I usually get off. The next main one is also a regular stop when I am wanting to walk less. I figure I would save some time and be there in plenty of time. I am hearing things on the speaker about the next stop, which sounds like is not my stop but the next next big station. I am thinking, hmmm I must not be hearing right, because the train always stops at Haruki. Surprised I am when it goes pass my stop! Ehhhhhh? Hmmm. Ok, I think no panic Good thing I am early. At the next stop I get off and change to a local going the opposite direction. 
 
I make it to my stop with plenty of time to burn, sort of. I stop in the convenience store for a drink and walk over to the dojo. I was not early enough to see the folks lined up outside waiting to get in. The building was already open. Once upstairs, I get another shock! The dojo is empty! No one, no bows, zip! Ehhhh? My mind races, I check the board, hmmmm, ok, I see the two Tai Kai I signed up for are not today! Hmmmm, however my calendar says there is a Tai Kai today! It took me a while then figured out, I was on the right day, the right time, but the wrong place!! Doh! 
 
Oh well, i figured, I guess I will just practice alone. Nothing I can do about it now. Anyway, I guess I was not expected anyway, after some memory checks, i did not recall signing up for the Osakajo Tai Kai anyway. Oh well. I setup thing to practice. Just before I was ready to shoot another dojo mates enters. She tells me yes, there is a Tai Kai at The Osaka Castle Dojo. Sigh.

I have at my practice. Shortly later another mate shows up, so now there is three of us. I am at it, checking my this n that and not hitting anything! This was the theme for the day. Zip for hits, close and around the mato, but not one hit out of sixteen. After a couple of disgusting hours, I called it a day. A sempai says to me I need to open my chest more. I make a note of it, but still head out, I am done. I mark down my perfect Zero score and head home.
 
Oh well, there is next time, if God be willing and the creek don’t rise, I will be back.

Completion …Art tools as Art within Art


The forces are balanced, the water boils properly; but if the pot is too full and boils over, it puts out the fire. On the other hand, if the fire is too hot for too long, it can evaporate all the water. In maintaining the equilibrium that follows the completion of an arduous task, forces at work in the situation must be monitored carefully to ensure that a proper balance is maintained. The state of After Completion is a time for fine-tuning, for refinements and embellishments of what has been accomplished

…I-Ching #63



Things are coming together. Yoshiko the Bass, is doing well. All cleaned up she is great.  The day after she came back from the shop the parts I ordered came in . Gold plated tuning pegs and volume/tone adjust knobs. It adds some nice bling, but understated. It goes goes with the dark wood. Now I feel like it is “MY AXE”, my Bass!



Another, I have been waiting for item arrived yesterday, my Ya from the shop. Earlier than I expected, that is always nice. NOW they are perfect as I had in my mind. I wanted for a long to time get these ya, then when I got them , last year, they did not get part of the work correct. So every time I used them I was reminded, this is unfinished, this is not how/what I wanted, I am still waiting. I used a pair tonight at practice, and yeah it is pretty superficial to trip on a small thing like a color scheme, or a pattern. Yet each fleeting glimpse of beauty observed, yet un-named is a bit of Zen, and in itself a practice. Observe, Absorb, Release. See the flower, breath the scent, move on. Also, there is no mistaking mine at a large event in a barrel.

I had been giving some thought to my fixation with the bass and the ya. Besides being tools of my passions, I think a combination of things, I am self analyzing. It has been over three years since we lost almost everything with the Boat, the bankruptcy the year before that, the lost of the condo, job, etc, in the years just before that. People giving us stuff to start over since arriving. It has been a while since I have had something of mine, as I want it, even then it has been a bit of a hustle involved. We still have basically very little and own almost nothing. For real nothing expensive. It is ok, we have what we need and a little extra and health, life is good. I will most likely not have a Car, motorcycle, boat, condo, or well-paying job again. Not to put a jinx on myself, but reality is the mind of Zen. Under my present conditions, without some major changes anyway, yeah, so whatever treats I am blessed with these days is a big deal. Life owes us nothing and is not fair. All we can do is take another step and be thankful for the foot to do so.

 
I was inspired by the newness of my tools, to take some pictures. Another plus for the new tools is artist inspiration joy is where you find/make it. 
 
Tools of Art, as Art, art within Art…

Mind shift

Mind Shift

 
I am getting to embrace the temporal mind matter shift concerning, not only my Kung Ku but Kyudo as well. At least so it seems now. Things change, including my idea, because I am open to learning.
 
More and more I have been cross circuiting Tai Chi and Kyudo. When doing Tai Chi, I recall I need to do this or that, when doing kyudo, or just being aware of carrying to much tension in one muscle group or another. Stretching the spine. It works the same Kyudo to Tai Chi. Recalling I tend to carry to much tension in my shoulders when doing Kyudo, I make a point of relaxing them more doing Tai Chi. I was surprised the first couple of times how much I was carrying even in Tai Chi.
 
I have been going through some mind trips about my Kung Fu. My Shifu would say to me at times, as you are carrying on the linage…blah blah blah. So I have always felt some kind of responsibility to teach. In a way to pay back my teachers for their efforts. Sometime which came for free. I felt a “duty” to teach. Of late I have been thinking more on the lines of, I should think of this more as a gift to me, for my use, my health, my spirit, part of my practice, for my practice. Not to be concerned about teaching or feel guilty if not. I am not just wasting if I am putting it to use, in some form or another. I suppose thinking logically I am the main priority for it’s use. My health. If I am not healthy, sick, weak from not doing my physical, “Form”, movement Chan, and doing it can can help then, I am wasting the gift, several in fact. That is the thing I need to not let escape me, not the teaching.
So much I can spend time on self-improving. I had stopped trying to improve and was just maintaining. It can be easy to fall into that mode when one is not training with a teacher. I had a classmate also a sifu, say yeah, everyone once in a while we need a kick in the pants as a student to keep moving. Also at this age, this maybe one of the things Ling Sisuk told me about at reaching this age. Another challenge to one’s motivation is not having any peers, classmates. I am really just out here on my own. I can be difficult, It takes more discipline I think to hold the course. I do ok, but I can do better. I have to bring back more priority to my “Fu”, “Motion Chan” use that more as a training aid for Kyudo. They can support each others and me. I kind of felt as a teacher, as a Lohan Priest it is selfish of me to focus only on myself and not seek students, but, as I said before the Universe puts us where we need to be, for whatever reason. Sometimes that reason is right in your face…
If there is a student(s) who is in need of me, the universe will bring him/her to me. I will no longer “trip” on it. another case of I am where I am suppose to be. In a way it was kind of like being attached to passing a Shinsa instead of just improving one’s self. As said in Zen, “the answer is within”, seek within not without. That also means motivation, the prize. Find it within…
 
I have been putting more effort back into my Kung Practice as a solid part of my overall “practice”, like part of daily meditation. When I was working with the city I did some warmups before going out on the truck. I have started Taiji/Hsinyi before going in now to the boatyard, unless it is raining. Training like this is good as well for Kyudo. I notice this or that position in Tai Chi gives balance, strength, pressure to this or that when doing Kyudo. More so using some of the weapons. The control of the muscles in detail. Kyudo is big on details. I am starting to understand true cross training.
 

One of the things I wanted to do when we moved on here was to have a wooden dummy setup in the yard for my practice use. That did not work out space wise when LZ added the a/c heater, with the blower right in the front yard space where I was going to put the dummy. That stopped that.

Just recently with this new influx of training ideas, the dummy has come up again. I have figured a spot for it , inside in the laundry area. Perfect, day or night, rain or shine, I will have a practice partner…sort of. Now to just figure the how of getting one in Japan, without it costing a small fortune. At least to me. I will give some meditation time to planing on building my own. I have seen it done, with varied workable results.

 Another thing I need to get on is improving my Japanese, it is a big deal to advance now. That is also needs to be part of my training. That will advance me in other areas here as well as with the music field…yosh

On such a winter’s day


This n that….on such a winter’s day.

 
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I have been looking forward to going to Kamakura. A visit to the Engakuji, not just to see the old Zen temple ground but to see the Kyudojo. Dream perhaps dare to dream of a chance to shot there. We have friends from the states that moved nearby, so besides visiting the Great Buddha we were going to hang out a bit with them.
 
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LZ has made the arrangements we are set for April! It will just be a short stay , but even with the disappointment of the Kyudojo at Engakuji, the trip will, be interesting a short pilgrim for me to the Zen Temple. 
Oh, what’s that I did not tell you about the disappointment of the Kyudojo ? Well, I had Lz do some research and ask a few questions about the Dojo. It turns out it is there and anyone can view it from the outside. The club itself has changes as the an old priest who ran it passed away. The new priest does not do Kyudo. The space it rented out to a private club, not taking new members. Sounds like the shrine I tried to join when I first arrived in this area. They, the temple staff, say they do not know how to get in touch with the club. Of course that is BS , but I get it. Oh well. Another life item to be viewed with non-abiding awareness. The Great Buddha I just want to see for the photo op and say I been there, kind of thing.
 
So yeah , it will be fun seeing our friends. It has been awhile.
 
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Shakuhachi,
Recital next week, I know the piece but not by heart. I still have a week to focus. I have also been working on a another piece called Cho Shi. I am learning this to play with my acquaintance the Komoso in Nara. He has been kind enough to offer me the extra gear, hat, sandals, etc, I need to be a kumoso for a day. I was able to score a plain black kimono. I need to learn the piece now. I am slowly getting it. I will be able to focus more after the recital. Also not having a Yon-dan shinsha staring at me will help. This will come I think shortly after the Kamakura trip…or before. Which will be in April.
I was pleased to find out Golden week is in May, so I may make it to the Kyoto Tai Kai this year.
 
Waterworld
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The weather has really sucked down at the marina as of late. That is hail in the picture above this.
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However it is good to have the couple of days work. More so since the City Park work has dried up for the season. Working inside the boat on some bad weather days , really reminds me of my own boat owning past. The rain on the cabin, the sway of the boat, the comfort of a heat small space. Watching the boats through rain streaked glass, in the marina dance with the waves. I wonder some time will I ever own again. I have noticed a pattern with things I have “owned”. They all go away. My clock is running out, as has my build-able income. Yet, one must stay open to gifts from the Universe, because one never know what the tides will bring.
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Kung Fu dharma world is once again quiet. Not surprising, disappointing but not surprising. This is a different world here, and I am in a way different area. Anyway it is ok, I still keep my feelers out, but return to having my practice for me, improving me. It seems selfish when I say it like that but, that is reality. Use this knowledge and training to keep me healthy and supported in my other practices…
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Music, Chan/Kung Fu study, Kyudo, these are part of what I wanted for my retirement years. So I am mostly there and I am indeed feeling blessed to be able to do this. More so with the oncoming darkness of the Trump years ahead. I am missing the sailing part, but I also have that sort of since I can borrow a boat from Aoki Corp if I want a day sail. So mostly just missing doing ceramics. I ant at some point get back into doing some clay-work, however Kyudo is my big challenge right now. Even though Shakuhachi, is also and will most likely give me more payback as far as actual use. Kyudo remains my big challenge. So mostly things are as I hoped for in Japan, it is rare anything turns out just as one plans, but in life like sailing , one can not control the wind, but one can adjust your sails.
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Anyway with approach of winter all one can do is hold on to their inner light as long as they can have faith in whatever one believes in, even if is just duct tape. Then see what the universe has in mind for you.
 
…for now, it’s winter
 
 

Do without doing


Do without doing…

 
The difference is noticeable, to me. Deeper seeking internally than externally, while keeping the external alive. I am speaking on shooting with the shinsa over my head, and the change since not choosing the shinsha this time. The sense of urgency is gone. I can just shoot with more internal conscience . Like going from Mato to Makiwara shooting.
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My latest tips from Yamashita sensei, have been worked into my programing. A big one I think is, I was holding my right arm too high. Lower then stretch the triceps from the elbows. Two directions, yin yang.
 
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Another sensei, had me readjust my tenouchi. I have some callous now on my hands from doing the park work for the city. On my left palm it is where the Yumi rests. It was becoming very painful the other day while I was shooting. My grip was way wrong! Once the Sensei showed me the right way, hand stopped hurting. This lesson will stick because of the pain. Funny how we learn that way. Pain can be looked at as a good thing, it is our friend…at times. Perspective is a big deal.
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Non-abiding awareness. This has been a word one of my Chan teachers uses a lot. It is how we should deal with things, life, tasks. Attention to detail, breath, victories, failures. When shooting, be the details, the moment, have no concern for the outcome, non-abiding awareness ( detachment) to the joy of success, hitting or pain of lost. Do what you do, without being attached to it, or the outcome. “Do without Doing.”
Sort of like “mushin”. I have been relating non-abiding awareness, more to Kyudo these days. I also notice my “Kyudo” things popping into regular Life. Walking straighter, is a big one, use of the eyes is another. Plus Cross stuff from Tai Chi to Kyudo, Kyudo to Tai Chi. I think that means I am understanding it more.
Understanding better the cycle of support, the interdependence of my arts; sitting chan, Kung Fu, Kyudo, Shakuhachi, Yoga…living and life…
…or,
I have grown more delusional …

Hatsu-kai 2017

 

 
Spring first shooting. I enjoy this group this is my third, I believe attendance. It was cold ! I was thankful we have an inside Dojo. Even then it was still cold! 😦
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Funny how some things work out for the best. If I had joined the nearby Dojo, I would have frozen “my grapes”. At the time I was heart broken, but now, so glad. There is a lesson there, trust the Universe! My mother would have said, all things work out for those who trust the Lord.
 
I have been putting my practice time in regularly, not much improvement I can see. Whatever, it no longer matter. I just do my thing, and work on whatever to improve my center of shooting. I will no longer concern myself with the next Shinsa. I will be ready when I am ready. After all, it affects no one but me, and will change nothing for my life. I spoke with a guy at the Silver center. He is a san-dan in Judo and Kendo. He said Yon-dan is a hardest one to pass there also. So I guess it is the same in all the Japanese Arts. They are hard on San-dan – Yon-San.
 
So anyway, my Tai-hai is getting better at least. I get none to little corrections on/at the weekly practice sessions. That is good. So when I am finally able to make some consistent hits, I will be ready for the Shinsa. The next one is coming up in March, however, looking at my current scores, I will pass on going again, no use wasting my money.
 
So yeah the Hatsu-kai. It was mostLy just our dojo, and there was another group of high schoolers I believe, who also attended. It was cold, but we made do.
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I did not do well, as was expected. I got one hit out of 8 shoots. I was quite surprised when I got a prize for being in 40th something place. 🙂 I took a lot of pictures as usual. Along with some of my other classmates this time.
 
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Anyway my placement did not matter, it was fun. I enjoy my dojo mates, that is really more important about these things. The sense of fellowship. That is the one thing I miss the most about being away from my Kung Fu family and Shifu. We had monthly Friday night closed door sessions with Shifu and sometimes and Uncle it really gave us a sense of fellowship, family. That beside the sharing of info, and training together bonded us.
 
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This month was the anniversary of my Kung Fu Shifu passing. It is always sad to think of the lost of him, yet up-lifting to know how blessed I was to have the memories of that time. The same goes for the lost of Nagomi Sensei with Kyudo. I really had very little time with him , but in my mind and heart it was very meaningful. I would really really like to pass my Yon-dan Shinsa at my original school, I believe that would please him…but, in the big picture it matters not at all. I am sure his spirit would be pleased where-ever, whenever it happens, the important thing is to Ganbraru and not quit! Knocked down seven, stand eight!
 
If interested you can view my pictures from the HatsuKai here…click
 

Akimashite Omedetou – 2017

 

Akimashite Omedetou – 2017

 
…And we are off on a new adventure. It will be an interesting time ahead. I am not going to even go into the political stuff. It is way too much and like poopers, everyone has an opinion. Like poopers, some are pretty crappy.
 
As for me…sigh. 
 
The student that I thought was going to be fairly dedicated, quit. He said he was going to just do some basic exercises. I do not understand, what it is with people they want , well they say they want to learn something, but then find out, yes one does have to practice. They quit. Art any art does not just happen, there is no Matrix like pill you can take and suddenly you know Kung Fu, Karate, Kyudo, play an instrument, paint, dance whatever. Yeah, life happens but you deal with it and find a pace to study, practice that you can work with and keep on keeping on. 
Then there are the people who sign up to stuff, or even to get info, but do not respond to questions, like, what are your goals in doing this? I am tired and a bit depressed, I will get over it. No matter, I will retain my practice for me as always and not concern myself about passing on any knowledge. It does make me feel I am letting down my Shifu though, but I am sure he understands and has most likely been there. It if is meant to be more, it will be.
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My Kyudo practice status does not help my mood. I thought I was improving, but my last few days of shooting went down hill again. I will not give up, I will not even think of it. However I am developing an attitude of acceptance, this maybe as far as I can go and just shoot to shoot. No thought of Shinsa, pass or fail, just better my form and shoot. That being my only goal, perfection of form. Hit no hit, no matter. Sort of like doing Zazen.
The goal is the journey not the destination sort of thing. It is said when you sit and meditate and your goal is to be enlightened, you move further away from it. Sit, meditate just because you can, not to gain anything. Perfect one’s form, back straight, breath, slow smooth and deep, non-abiding awareness of mind, no goals, no attachments, perhaps other than just sitting, connecting to all that is. Still that in itself is a goal, no?
There are times when meditating, that one disconnects and yet connects to the source. It is the briefest of moments, because when it happens and one because aware of it and thinks, this is it, you disconnect and it is no longer there!

Yet, I see people shoot and hit and hit and hit. However when one just focuses on the hit and do it, they are classified as target whores. They are not just letting it happen, they are focus on making it happen. One has to focus on not focusing to make it happen…headache come from analyzing that thought too much. Still, it is frustrating knowing I shot better before, years before now, yet now after all this training and effort, my shooting sucks. I am walking the “plateau”

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I did the annual 108 arrow shoot at my home dojo. It was interesting… again. I go through sections of the shoot with a different mind-set. Not on purpose, but it just happens. I observe. Starting with attention to every detail. Focus trying to improve my form, because working with the makiwara is all about one’s form not hitting.

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Then counting and shooting to get it done then back to focus on detail, mindfulness, a return to purpose, not just to shoot. It is over all quite the learn experience. Touching on the spiritual meaning of doing it. A stand-on for the 108 strikes of the bell at the Buddhist temple for the 108 “sins”, distractions. However done with arrows instead of a gong.

Shakuhachi, there seems to be a couple of ways to approach playing. Perfection of a sound, a note, the melody, as music does not matter. It is a spiritual tool. Perfection of a musical piece, the musician way. The expression of the song, the melody. Another, the use of the breath. The flute is a tool to controlling the breath, the variables, benefits, associated with that. Sound does not matter, melody does not matter, only the breath, the source of life matters.

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The Shakuhachi is a tool for controlling, developing that. The breath is our connection to the universe. We live because of our breath. God breathed life into the clay and gave us being, it is said. There is yet another side, that of the sound, the music being an offering. This was mentioned to me by the Komuso in Nara. I spoke to him of doing my yearly pilgrimage to some Komuso Zen temple and was told, there os one in Kyoto. I could visit the ground, I could not enter without a teacher, permission, a pass from the teacher something like that. However I could sit in the garden and play, make a “musical offering”. I had that “sense” when I visited the temple in Wakayama last year, and played at the hall entrance, but I did not put it into a named thought of making an offering. Giving something of myself, my breath in to sound as an offering to the Source, to Buddha. Not Buddha as a “god”. But Buddha as the Spirit of life. We do not worship Buddha as a God in Zen. Buddha is an enlighten being, an awaken soul, Buddha is us , we are Buddha, Buddha is everything, yet nothing. Form and formlessness.

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I am not sure what I am doing these days and sort of frustrated, sort of depressed, sort of goal-less with a sense of time fading away, being on a fruitless journey. The Journey is the fruit and that is all there is until the end? I guess. I do not have that many years left, to figure, work, achieve, what? Maybe 15-20 if lucky or unlucky depend on one’s view-point. WWW 3 happens, the world in left a bed of ash, poison and radiation, doubtful if surviving would be considered lucky.  
 
“The purpose of life is service to others”. Nice thought. I thought I had found my way to do that, several times. I had more of a plan, a dream before coming to Japan. However the path keeps dissolving, and the dream fades away with the tide of life. So it must not be the “right” path. According to the 8 fold Buddhist path, to lessen/reduce suffering, one needs the ” right” job. Easy to say, difficult to do. There is no one “right” for everyone. With limited language skills voluntary work is limited as well. I had thought of free meditation, or Tai Chi classes, those skills I can share. Yet people put little value on things that are free. Perhaps the answer lies with being a faceless Kumoso giving pleasure via the sounds of the Shakuhachi, sharing my life force for donations, which in turn would be given to charity. A faceless service to those who suffer and giving some value to my appointment as a priest and talent as a musician. Well the quest continues, as does the New Year. All I can really do is continue to step, train and keep my heart, mind, spirit open for guidance. That is all any of us can do really. Strive to improve, to take another step, stay linked to the Universe, stay healthy to take that next step and be ready for whatever is on the path.
Happy New Year! Strap in for the ride. May we all do better. _/|\_
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