The music part of the month is mostly over. I have another gig up coming at the end of the month with another band. I will just be playing Bass, no singing, no worries. I can just play. It is kind of nice to do that from time to time. I can focus on only that. When I am playing and singing and doing harmonica, if I lose focus I hit a wrong note. Most times I can cover it. Miles Davis once said when you hit a not planned note. it is the note that follows it that makes it wrong or not. Herbie Hancock tells a story about a wrong cord he used with Miles and he thought he blew it. However Miles just rolled with it and made it work. That is skill. I am not anywhere near that but I can fake it a lot when needed and bring it back. LoL
Ok yeah Kyudo. So this week I am finished with music projects and can focus on Kyudo. I got up today a bit on the “down” side mentally knowing I am not ready for the shinsa, I wasted a not cheap entry fee. However I just need just focus on doing my best. I went to the Dojo for Kimono practice, there was none ( kimono day practice, not the dojo). I was expecting it to be somewhat crowded as our dojo is hosting the shinsa this time around. I had heard form a friend from another dojo in Sakai, there dojo was closed so they would be coming to our to practice.
On the way to kyudo, I am expecting a quiet introspective ride to class. I hear my name and a woman who I know from kyudo was coming at me. She says she saw the Yumi and then me. MY first reaction is always…Ohhh Snap I have to have a Japanese conversation * ok, relax, breath, you can do this * We sit a for the most part it went well. Part of the trick is to control the conversation. If I asking questions, I do not have to answer them! It went ok, for the most part, I was glad when my station came, and I could leave. She was going somewhere else, A nice person but I was glad to see her go. …exhale .
I arrived as some of my dojo mates where leaving, I got a couple of do your best wishes from some for the up coming shinsa, only a few stayed, as the Sakai folks arrived. I was asked if I was ok with training with them on Tai hai by a Sempai Sensei, who helps with the Kimono class even though he is from another dojo. The one at the shrine. I said ok, even though I just wanted to shoot on my own. I got ready to do Tai Kai with everyone. I figured it was still something I needed a refresher on anyway…just do it! One can never do basics to much! Then I see my Sensei, the head guy is there. Oh Jheez I thought. Ok, roll with it. I will be under stern watch but, it is a good check on what I am doing. No different from the shinsa, but with no pressure. I feel much more confident about my Tai Hai skills than my hitting skills. I joined the group. I was surprised with no warmup or anything just step in and make my first two hits. I always tend to do better with my first shots. Most times, except in a Tai Kai….anyway. My classmate who rarely talks to me, gave me great job sign and words!. Thx, I said yeah, it was this time…
The next round I did not hit any, as I figured. Sensei gave me only a couple of small things to be aware of and change. Having to do with holding my Ya, stepping back off of shai, and my right arm angle. The woman who speaks little, said she noticed that I leaned away from the target on the next two shots which I missed. She also gave me a little pep talk. We had done shinsa together several times in the past. She has been at Kyudo longer than me, but still working on yon-dan like me. She was not testing this time, said she was not ready. I know the feeling, but I figured what the heck, it is a practice run and it is too late to back out now. All my Sensei’s and sempai there are expecting me to do it now also. No pressure though except that which I place on myself. We (most people I think) tend to judge ourselves harder than others. Also nothing will change except my yearly dues fee. LoL!
I brought my bamboo Yumi this time also to see with which I shoot better . Even though I know it is me not the bow I still think I do better with one more than the other. I made my first two hits with the Bamglass. The power of it feels good, but the Bamboo as I said give me the space to get everything within me in place….sigh. I am still out to lunch with way to go. I am leaning more towards the Bamglass today. I maybe change next time I go in and then again when I return. I have three days planned on spending at the Dojo. Today I was there for 3.5 hours, finishing with a poor average. Oh well. The mind thing is really a hard thing to deal with, being non attached yet doing one’s best. It really is a zen training. Do not focus on the results, do not be attached, be in the moment only, totally, mindful, yet not attached to the outcome. Yet there is that part that says, you have to use your vision and see success, everything happens in your mind first, imagine, visualize success, but do not be attached…Mu
Today is Tues, the shinsa is on Sunday. Most likely this will be posted in the shinsa day. I have had a Que of several posts.
I have only a few days left to endure this suffering and focus on training. I am looking forward to it being over in truth and considering if I should plan for the next one in Nov or hold a positive thought, or even plan on skipping the next one and work toward the Spring one, which I should feel better about because over all I am making headway. Yeah it is a mind game. Once this is over I can return to my Komuso practice with cooler weather temps and less other stuff that affects no one but me. I have a couple of trips to Nara in the plan… Amitoufo
In other news I am so tired of Facebook, it is so negative mostly these days. For my part in it I need to make more effort into posting positive stuff or environmental. Skipping the political stuff there is plenty of already. Also it will not make a bit of difference if a supporter or non supporter reads it. Minds are set. I figured out the reason I am on it so much, at least my rational is I do not have any other English-speaking contacts, news, social interaction, outlet. I thought about it for a while as my platform for speaking out against injustice, doing a low key priest vow fulfilment thing. That is pretty much useless, everyone’s mind is set. My world is mostly Japanese. I can not even lose myself in Sci Fi TV any more my underground TV has been cut off. FB gives me the chance to interact with others in English. Those that think like me, and even those who do not and some of who are my friends and I respect . I see the logic of their view, I think they are partly right-on, but do not think they see mine. On the other hand, those who do not understand “my truth”, make me sad, I feel like they have lost their heart way, and I can do nothing, they believe in what is happening in the States is the right way. I believe differently, maybe it is me who is wrong. I am just lost in some Hippie, zen priest fantasy about what should be real life and truth. Time will tell and it useless to argue about it, especially on-line and with strangers, jhezze! Either way I am tired. I wonder if Google + is this way as well? I need to check into them again. I understand the world is not a fun place right now, I would like to find a place that is more fun, much less drama. Yeah I know, that is was meditation is for. I would not call meditation fun though. Sui Zen is the closest to that.
Anyway that aside, the total focus on money, and profits at all costs, especially to environment and our humanity, other life forms, the separation of people, and playing one against the other, hate and mistrust on both sides, and selective truths is not going to end well. Both side have their version of truths. Oh well, the great Spirit, the Universe, God, Tao is in charge. I am just along for the ride. I am really tired of it all…all is impermanent. I have to detach better, part of my living Zen challenge. Zen is not just sitting at a wall not thinking, it is how we interact with others, all forms of life, their suffering is our suffering. Our Oceans are suffering from our waste, this is coming back to us in our food. The Air is suffering from our waste, this is also coming back to us in poor health and really messed up weather patterns. We all are a part of everything, not above it…Amitoufo
Now back to my regular programing schedule…